


In Another World

by orphan_account



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: A WILD RIDE, Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, non idols
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-26 00:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13846632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Chae Hyungwon is everything Kihyun loves and hates.





	In Another World

**Author's Note:**

> A bit out of character but i wanted to write something where Hyungwon was a bit childish so there ya go

He looks sinful in those blue jean shorts that reach mid thigh and a large pink sweater that hides his hands. His black hair falls over his forehead, and he has such large eyes that Kihyun can see his own reflection in them. He looks tired, and he yawns just as Kihyun thinks so. He watches as the other on the couch snuggles closer to Hoseok's side and how Hoseok puts an arm around his shoulders and pulls him closer. The smaller male pulls his legs up to place them partially in Hoseok's lap.

Kihyun shouldn't be staring, but he definitely hates Hyungwon, all the clothes that he wears, and how pretty he is.

They don't even notice that Kihyun has entered the room, so he clears his throat. They both look over but make no effort to move an inch. Hoseok is so big compared to Hyungwon. His thighs are much thicker, as are his arms. His lavender hair contrasts with Hyungwon's black hair, but still it's fitting. Where Hyungwon wears such little clothes, Hoseok wears a hoodie and sweatpants. He's still hot, regardless. No wonder Hyungwon cuddled up to him instead of Kihyun. Kihyun isn't large in any way. He isn't masculine. He doesn't have cool hair, his hair is black. They see him as a mother, and sometimes it hurts when all of his friends call him mom. It doesn't matter though because he doesn't like Hyungwon like that. He doesn't want Hyungwon to cuddle with him.

It's a pain living with four boys. Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and Hoseok are a handful to deal with, but Kihyun feels like it's worth it when they have nights when they peacefully all watch TV together. They are university students living in a two bedroom apartment, so they have 2 sets of bunkbeds, one in each bedroom. Kihyun happily shares a room with Minhyuk because he keeps to himself in his own bed, unlike the other two who tend to cling. Kihyun isn't sure if they are dating, but they are attached to the hip.

"Minhyuk and I are heading out to get ice cream, and you're more than welcome to join us if you'd like," Kihyun announces.

Hoseok stares at Kihyun, and suddenly Kihyun feels self concious about his ripped black jeans and plain maroon t-shirt. Hoseok glances back at Hyungwon.

"I think I'm gonna stay in today. I've got a ten page essay due tomorrow at midnight, and I'd rather not fail."

Kihyun catches how sad Hyungwon looks. He pouts at Hoseok in an attempt to get him to change his mind. Hyungwon really is a brat.

Hoseok continues, "You can go with them, you know. Minhyuk isn't going to sell you to a stranger."

Hyungwon makes a noise of protest.

"Hyungwon, use your words."

"I don't wanna go without you," he whines.

Hoseok chuckles and runs his hands through Hyungwon's soft hair. Kihyun feels a slight pain in his stomach and blames it on the fact that he hasn't eaten since breakfast.

The eldest responds, "Be pouty and Kihyun will buy you anything you want."

Hyungwon's eyes light up, and he immediately runs to the door to put on his shoes. Minhyuk approaches and ruffles his hair.

"Joining us?"

Hyungwon nods, he spares Kihyun a glance before opening the door and happily running outside. He looks so happy to be in the sun, and really Hyungwon reminds Kihyun of a cat.

"Hyungwonnie, be careful. Hold onto mine or Kihyun's hand so you don't accidently run into the road," Minhyuk speaks in a soft tone.

The youngest pouts, but he quickly returns to slip in between Minhyuk and Kihyun and take both their hands. Kihyun should be used to how childish he is, but instead he fights away a blush. Hyungwon acts like this towards everyone. He doesn't like Hyungwon. He likes girls. Boobs are great. Yeah.

Minhyuk leads the way. "What flavor of ice cream do you want, Wonnie?"

Hyungwon slightly swings his arms. "Chocolate? I don't know."

The air is warm, but not scorching. It's mid September, so it's starting to cool off. It just means Hyungwon will wear sweaters still paired with shorts though. Regardless, his skin doesn't seem to tan. It's so pale, Kihyun just wants to run his hands all over him and watch how he squirms underneath him. Not in a sexual way thought because that would be gay.

He lets Hyungwon swing his arm back and forth.

They arrive the the ice cream shop. It's an older place. The booths that lines the walls have red seats with black tables. The male at the counter looks half asleep, and Kihyun relates.

Hyungwon releases both their hands and runs up the the counter. He presses his face against the glass that protects the ice cream from the outside world. There is at least 20 different flavors, but Kihyun has other priorities than figuring out what he wants.

He pulls Hyungwon back by the back of his sweater. "Don't press your face against the glass. It's dirty."

The younger goes to pout, but suddenly he seems to lose his train of thought as the cashier asks him what he wants.

"Chocolate!"

Kihyun smiles softly and continues for Hyungwon. "Make it a medium. I'll have vanilla."

Minhyuk proceeds to order a complicated order. When the cashier totals his amount, Kihyun doesn't stress over wasting his gas money to pay for ice cream. It's worth it, really. Especially when the cashier hands each one of their ice cream bowls to them and Hyungwon rushes to sit at a booth.

Kihyun slides next to him, and Minhyuk sits across from them. Hyungwon excitedly starts eating his ice cream, and he finishes by the time Kihyun has barely started. Kihyun sighs and grabs a napkin to wipe the younger's face. He pouts, but lets Kihyun do it since he probably wouldn't do it himself.

Kihyun wants to brush his lips against the others thick lips, but he refrains because that would be weird for friends to do. He sets the napkin down when he is done.

Hyungwon pulls on Kihyun's arm.

"Use your words," Kihyun repeats the same phrase they always have to keep using around Hyungwon. He tends to forget to speak and just think he can get everything without it.

"Want some," he opens his mouth.

The elder takes a spoonful and slips it into Hyungwon's mouth. He smiles happily behind the spoon and Kihyun slowly pulls it out.

"You'll get sick if you eat too much," Kihyun warns. Regardless, he feeds Hyungwon another spoonful.

He lets Hyungwon finish his bowl.

Kihyun turns to Minhyuk, who mindlessly plays on his phone. Minhyuk is probably the second most attractive member of their household, Hyungwon being the first. His hair is a strange shade of red, but it's almost fitting. He prefers wearing jeans and a buttoned up shirt more than anything, and today's color of shirt is a dark blue. He is pretty, of course, but Kihyun thinks Hyungwon is prettier. It's not gay to call another guy pretty.

He has thought Hyungwon is pretty since he walked through the apartment door.

Minhyuk was a childhood friend, and since he and Kihyun happened to be going to the same college, they decided to rent an apartment together. A week into college, Kihyun realized he couldn't pay the rent since he didn't have time to get a job. So, Hoseok and Hyungwon, friends of Minhyuk, moved in. Kihyun acknowledged Hoseok was buff and Hyungwon was pretty.

"Minhyuk, what if we just drop out of college and just live on the streets?"

The red haired boy doesn't look up from his phone. "You won't. You'll get your degree, become a stupid history teacher, and have a big family. End of story. It's your dream."

Hyungwon's legs gently kick against Kihyun's. "You'll still keep in touch?"

"Hyungwon, we are sophomores in college. Don't stress now. Besides, I'm more worried about you leaving me since you'll be a producer," he nudges Hyungwon's shoulder.

"I wanna live here," Hyungwon mumbles.

"Then, maybe I'll live here too."

Minhyuk drags them away because he has work in a few hours and he wants to rest. Hyungwon immeditely attaches himself to Hoseok when they get home.

"I got ice cream, and then Kihyun gave me his!"

Hoseok closes his laptop. "Sounds like you had fun."

"Yeah!"

"Why don't you go get some homework done, okay?" Hoseok suggests.

Hyungwon pouts, but he still drags himself into his room to get his book. He returns and throws his math book on the table and sits down. Kihyun, from his spot at the stove where he is about to start dinner, glances at him.

"Homework?"

"I don't wanna do it, I'm bored."

Kihyun really wants to die because Hyungwon squirms and throws a fit, and it looks so innocent and hot at the same time. It shouldn't make his stomach flip.

"It might be easier to work in my room. It's less messy so you wont be distracted."

His idea doesn't work at all. Kihyun sits on his own bunk, and Hyungwon struggles to sit still at the desk. Kihyun wants to calm him down, but he has no idea why he is so jumpy.

"Hyungwon?"

The younger moves to straddle Kihyun. He wraps his arms around his neck and lets one of his hands slide into black hair. Instictively, Kihyun holds Hyungwon by his waist.

"Let's play, I'm bored," Hyungwon demands.

He uses his height as an advantage and tilts Kihyun's head upward and without warning stick his tounge in the elder's mouth. Kihyun moans against Hyungwon's mouth and wraps his arms around the younger to pull him into him.

His ears are ringing because this isn't supposed to happen. Kihyun isn't gay. Kihyun doesn't like guys. There's nothing wrong with being gay, but he just isn't. He  _knows_ he isn't. Nothing is wrong with noticing a guy is pretty or staring at Hyungwon's thighs for a bit too long. He isn't gay; he just appreachiates beauty. He needs to push Hyungwon away. He has to.

But Hyungwon is here. Hyungwon, with his pretty lips against Kihyun's and rolling his hips. He is here in shorts and that stupid pink sweater. He is here with an arm wrapped around Kihyun's neck with another on his jaw so he can tilt his head upwards to shove his tounge further in the elder's mouth. Hyungwon is here, in his lap and Kihyun is holding on so tightly because he is so warm and never wants Hyungwon to leave.

Kihyun hates this and himself. He isn't gay. He  _isn't_ gay. It's wrong to moan when another guy kisses you. It's wrong to pull him closer. This is all wrong.

Without warning, he shoves Hyungwon on the floor. The male looks up at him with wide suprised eyes.

"I'm not gay!" Kihyun hisses.

Hyungwon opens his mouth to say something, but Kihyun literally sprints to the door, slides on his shoes, and grabs his keys. He doesn't look back. He opens the door and leaves to get into his car.

And he drives. He doesn't know where he's going, but he cannot be in the house with Hyungwon.

_I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay._

All he can picture is how upset Hyungwon looked on the floor. His lips were a bright red from kissing Kihyun. His shirt was slightly pulled up, and Kihyun could see a sliver of his stomach. Hyungwon was Hyungwon. It makes Kihyun so sick.

Kihyun isn't gay. He can't be. His mom would be disappointed. She is always asking if he got a new girlfriend; she asks if he wants kids because she wants grandkids. His grandparents would disown him. What if all of his friends never wanted to speak to him again? So even if he is, he can't be gay.

He spends the night at a motel he can't afford. He slides his card, knowing very well that his bank account is crying. He barely has money for groceries; he'll have to pick up a job soon. He just can't go back home and look Hyungwon in the eyes. He will pout and want to climb all over him. Kihyun can't handle that.

He opens the door to the room and sighs. It's shitty. The bedding is old. It looks like it hasn't been washed in years. The wallpaper is barely even there. The TV looks at least 10 years old. It's disgusting, but Kihyun throws his keys on the nightstand and lies face first into the bed.

His phone in his pocket is blowing up, so he turns it off. He'll deal with it another night. He places it next to his keys. He lets his eyes fall closed, ignoring how uncomfortable the bed is.

He dreams of a world where he will be able to love Hyungwon.

-

Kihyun wakes up to a backache and a headache. His feelings are more confusing than before, but he is gross and needs to shower. He doesn't want to look at Hyungwon, Hoseok, or even Minhyuk. He just wants to go home and cry.

He stumbles out of the motel with the few things he brought. He feels like he isn't here. He barely knows where he even drove the night before. He climbs in the car and types his address into the GPS. He tries to relax his mind before he has to see Hyungwon.

_I'm straight. I'm straight. I'm straight._

He arrives around noon. Minhyuk and Hoseok's car are in the parking lot, and it just makes every thing worse. Regardless, he walks towards their building and opens the door. For some reason, he felt like the world stopped, but it didn't.

Hoseok sits comfortably on the couch watching TV with Minhyuk's feet in his lap. Hyungwon is on the floor with papers spread out around him. It's his way of studying. He is wearing Hoseok's black sweatpants, and Minhyuk's green hoodie. It's a weird look, really. His black hair is held away from his face with a small clip on top of his head. His nose is scrunched, and Kihyun knows him well enough to note that he is probably having a particularly hard time on a math question.

No one even hears Kihyun enter, but he doesn't let it hurt him too much as he escapes into his bedroom away from the world. He wants to move out, maybe his mom would let him stay. Kihyun just doesn't want to live here, not with Hyungwon breathing the same air as him.

He throws himself in the bottom bunk and lets out a sigh.

_How did I let it get like this?_

_You pushed your feelings to the side for a year, you moron._

Kihyun feels uncomfortable with his internal war. On one side, he knows that he can't be gay. On the other side, he notes how every time Hyungwon walks into the room, Kihyun's stomach is filled with butterflies.

He pulls the pillow over his face, and he doesn't fight it when a tear falls out of his eyes. He doesn't even fight it when there is more of them. He isn't crying over Hyungwon, that's foolish. He is crying because he doesn't even know who he is anymore.

He is supposed to be straight. He is supposed to marry a girl and have kids. He is supposed to love his family and support them, and he is  _never_ supposed to love another man. He isn't supposed to love a male even if he is pretty or flawless or has nice thighs that Kihyun wants to bite. He isn't supposed to like Hyungwon, and that's that.

-

Strangely enough, everything falls back to the way it was, but Kihyun notices Hyungwon doesn't speak to him directly anymore. He avoids Kihyun and sticks to Hoseok like glue.

"He thinks you hate him," Minhyuk casually informs him before blowing a bubble with his gum. It pops, and Kihyun sighs because it's so gross.

"I don't," Kihyun glances at the birds singing in a tree as they continue their walk in the park.

Minhyuk stops. "Kihyun, what the hell happened that night?" His voice drops. His playful tone is gone, and Kihyun turns around to see his eyes completely serious.

"Nothing. I just needed space."

"Hyungwon hasn't been the same since."

Kihyun wishes Minhyuk's voice would've drown in the sound of cars driving on the nearby road. Instead, Kihyun heard him clearly. He wants to unhear it. He wants to go back in time and tell Minhyuk to drop the subject because Kihyun doesn't want to think about the possibility of Hyungwon liking him. If he hurt Hyungwon, how could he ever forgive himself?

Minhyuk continues. "He is always so tense when you're around, and he sticks closer to Hoseok. He gets upset easier and cries all the time. What did you do to that poor boy?!"

"Because he is gay, and I'm just not!" Kihyun snaps.

Minhyuk's eyes widden, and Kihyun wants to explain. He wants to justify himself. Minhyuk doesn't give him a chance though. He steps closer to Kihyun.

Minhyuk's voice raises to a scream. "You're telling me that he did something to you that was too affectionate and you snapped at him for that?! Kihyun, I'm gay! Hoseok is gay! Why does it even matter? You know how affectionate he is and how he wants us the baby him because that's just his personality! He acts childish and doesn't always understand what is going on; he has to be reminded to speak, Kihyun. And you-"

"Minhyuk, he kissed me," Kihyun breathes out.

The entire world seems to fall silent. Minhyuk doesn't move. He stares at Kihyun, but he looks like his mouth can't form words. Kihyun can vaguely hear the world continuing around them, but their small world between the two of them freezes.

"He kissed you," Minhyuk slowly repeats a few times. His voice falls to a calmer tone, like speaking to a child and trying to scold them without being rude. "And then what did you do?"

"I pushed him on the floor and ran away."

Minhyuk seems to take a while to collect his thoughts, but then he speaks up. "And you're not gay." His voice is filled with doubts.

"I'm not gay."

"Then, apologize to Hyungwon and tell him that." Minhyuk turns around to signal the end of the conversation.

As he walks away, Kihyun doesn't follow him. He doesn't feel welcomed into his own home anymore. He feels like Minhyuk, Hoseok, and Hyungwon are in their world that Kihyun just isn't invited in.

-

Kihyun can't stop beating himself up about it. He notices the way Hyungwon is down. He hangs his head when Kihyun is around. He hears him crying every night. Every thing is falling apart and it's because of him. Kihyun is stupid. He doesn't know what to do, so when winter break hits, he starts packing his things.

Minhyuk stares at him from the door frame. His black roots are coming in, but Kihyun isn't close enough to him to tell him anymore. It's different now. They are back to formalities and exchanging simply small talk. Kihyun is not invited in their world, and maybe he brought it upon himself. Still, he catches a sad look in Minhyuk's eyes when he glances up.

"You didn't leave for winter break last year," Minhyuk observes.

"My mom asked me to come home," Kihyun easily lies.

This isn't a conversation he wants to be in. Every conversation that isn't formal turns into an argument.  _Why can't you accept yourself, Kihyun? Why don't you apologize?!_ Minhyuk always says the same thing.

"Well, Hyungwon, Hoseok, and I are all staying home," Minhyuk says cautiously.

"Cool." Kihyun zips up his suitcase and stands up with it in his hand. "Well, I think I'm going to head out."

Minhyuk stares at him, and he looks hurt. He no longer looks at Kihyun as a friend, but as an enemy. Kihyun feels like everything has changed just because he is confused. He knows Hyungwon has a sensitive heart, and the fact that Kihyun won't speak to him is breaking him apart. Yet, he can't do it.

He knows Minhyuk wants to stop him, but he is thankful that Minhyuk lets him walk out the door without any conflicts.

(And from the outside he hears a whiny voice asking why Kihyun left without telling him bye. He feels his heart ache more.)

-

Kihyun's mother pulls him into the house and drags him into the kitchen. "Why are you home? You should be studying!"

"I needed space from the boys," Kihyun doesn't elaborate, and his mother doesn't ask him to.

They eat dinner in mostly silence until Kihyun's dad storms in the front door and walks into the kitchen. Kihyun looks up at him. He really is getting older. He looks more exhausted, but at least he is wearing the same polo and khaki pants that he always wears at his accounting job.

His dad smiles a short smile at Kihyun. "Hey, son. Nice to see you again." Then, his smile drops. "Did you know that some countries are allowing same sex marriages! If South Korea passes the law, then I'm moving."

"What's the issue about it?" Kihyun asks like he is clueless.

His dad sits down and smiles graciously when his wife hands him a glass of an alcohol Kihyun isn't familar with. "They are ruining marriage. It's between a man and a woman, Kihyun. It's wrong to say otherwise."

_They aren't bothering you._

He nods his head and pretends he agrees. He returns to playing on his phone, hoping someone in his regularly household will text him and actually care if he safely made the two hour drive to his mother's house. He waits patiently as his parents discuss more politics, but his phone never beeps.

He gives up and excuses himself into his bedroom. It's the exact same as it was when he finished his last year of high school. The walls are bare. The bed is neatly made with black bedding. His desk is nicely organized in the corner. His dresser is still empty. Everything was left untouched.

Kihyun really was just another robot when he lived here. He studied for grades and nothing else. He didn't hang out with anyone but Minhyuk. He didn't have hobbies or interests. He just wanted to make his parents happy, yet he never did. His room reflects that, reflects the emptiness of growing up while trying to impress your parents

He thinks back to what they said about same sex marriages.

That night, he dreams of marrying Hyungwon.

_In another world, I could love you._

_-_

When Kihyun returns to the apartment, it's the worst possible situation. He didn't see the cars in the parking lot, so he assumed they weren't home. Yet, he opens the door to find Hyungwon comfortably curled up on the couch with Minhyuk's blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He glances over his shoulder, and the world seems to stop as he sees Kihyun.

For one, Kihyun dyed his hair last week. It's a soft grey color. His close friend Kwangmin, who went to high school with him and decided not to go to college, chose it. They decided to hang out over the break, and he told Kihyun it was time for a change. Hyungwon's eyes scan Kihyun's hair before settling on his face.

As for the second reason the world stopped, they haven't spoken to each other in months. Yet, there was Hyungwon and all of his glory sitting all alone for the first time. He looks flawless, in Kihyun's opinion, but the circles under his eyes are dark and his lips are chapped. His hair is disarranged, sticking up everywhere. Still, Hyungwon is Hyungwon, and he takes Kihyun's breath away.

_In another world, I'd walk over and kiss you._

"Kihyun," Hyungwon speaks in his usual soft voice.

"Hyungwon, I-"

Hyungwon pushes the blanket to the side and stands up. With Hyungwon facing him and the blanket gone, Kihyun can clearly see what he is wearing. He is 99% sure Hyungwon is wearing his jacket.

"It's okay, I'll leave," Hyungwon quickly looks down at the floor and makes his way to his shared room with Hoseok.

"Hyungwon!" Kihyun calls back.

The younger glances over his shoulder. Kihyun feels like his legs are going to give out. His heart tells him that Hyungwon is all he ever wanted, but his head keeps telling him that his parents would disown him. He feels like the room is spinning.

"You...you don't have to go," he says hesitantly. He moves slowly to the couch and sits. "You can sit with me."

Something flashes in Hyungwon's eyes, but he sits down next to Kihyun anyways. They leave a few inches between them, and Kihyun resists the urge to wrap his arm around him.

_My instincts are to protect you, but I've only hurt both of us._

Both stare at the TV, yet they aren't watching it. Hyungwon is just so close to him. He knows he isn't supposed to touch him, but it would be so easy just lean closer.

"How was your parents doing?" Hyungwon asks genuinely.

"The same as always. Dad is screaming about how the lgbt community is ruining marriages, and Mom occupies herself with baking. I think they are falling apart, but it's not like I can do anything." By the time Kihyun finishes speaking, he notices that his hand on his own thigh has another hand over it. He doesn't pull away. Hyungwon's hand on his is so warm.

"It's not your fault they are like that," Hyungwon whispers, and Kihyun isn't sure which topic he is referring to, but he is pretty sure he hears the unheard  _"just because they hate gay people doesn't mean it has to affect you"_.

Kihyun shifts his hand under from Hyungwon's and lifts his arm to rest on the top of the back of the couch. He doesn't speak, but Hyungwon gets the message. He moves his smaller frame to fit squished against Kihyun's side. His arm falls around Hyungwon's shoulders, and the younger just leans closer.

It feels wrong and right. Part of him wants to hold Hyungwon this close always, but the other part of him is telling him how disgusting it makes him. For once, he trusts his gut.

"I know it's not my fault. It isn't your fault either."

Hyungwon doesn't push the conversation farther. He rests his head against Kihyun and pulls his legs up to sprawl over Kihyun's lap.

That's how Minhyuk finds them after he gets home from studying with Hyunwoo. He is clearly suprised because Kihyun never even mentioned he was coming home. He also never apologised to Hyungwon. On top of it all, it's passed 11:00 P.M., the time Hyungwon usually goes to bed, yet neither of them seem to make an effort to move.

Minhyuk enters the living room and stands in front of the TV. "Hey, why aren't you in bed?"

Hyungwon squirms against Kihyun. "Too tired. Wanna sleep here."

The eldest of the three throws Kihyun a glare. "Well, still, I'm sure Kihyun doesn't want you lying on him, so let's go to my bed."

"I wanna sleep here!" Hyungwon whines. He is throwing one of his fits again.

He is tired, and Kihyun feels stupid for not trying to put him to bed before.

Kihyun speaks up, "It's okay. I'll carry him to my bunk once this episode is over."

Minhyuk eyes him suspiciously. "Go ahead and take him to bed, Ki. He is tired."

For once, Kihyun takes his advice and stands up, pulling Hyungwon up by the hand. Kihyun leads the sleepy male to Minhyuk and his room, and he easily coaxs Hyungwon into the bed with Kihyun's body practically wrapped around his.

Really, he never thought of himself to be okay with spooning another male, but he pushes the thought to the side. He throws an arm around Hyungwon's waist. Hyungwon silently plays with his fingers until finally lying completely still once he is asleep.

_In another world, I think I would be begging to fall asleep like this every night._

_-_

Hyungwon swings his and Kihyun's intertwined hands back and forth as he stares up at the sky innocently watching the snow fall. He nearly tripped a few moments before, but they continued walking and his eyes never left the sky.

"Watch where you are going," Kihyun gently reminds him.

Hyungwon looks over at him with a pout. He is so cute; Kihyun feels his heart bursting. For once, his hair is neatly sweeping over his forehead from where Kihyun brushed it, and bits of snow are dusted on top of his head. A large scarf is wrapped around his neck and nearly covers his mouth. He's finally wearing non-ripped jeans, and his large winter overcoat isn't his (it's Minhyuk's that Kihyun stole from his section of the closest) and it's obvious since its black and a bit too big. He looks like he's drowning in clothes, but his nose and ears are red from the cold. Hyungwon looks like a little kid, and Kihyun just wants to take him back home and hide him from the world.

Hyungwon makes a noise of distress, and Kihyun rolls his eyes. "Use your words," Kihyun reminds him.

"Where are we going?" Hyungwon whines despite the fact that they've only been walking for roughly ten minutes. His bare hand squeezes Kihyun's gloved one more. "I'm cold."

Kihyun continues to pull him along the sidewalk. The streets are busy and loud, but he doesn't really mind. He tries not to think about the looks people give him when the see the pair holding hands. Today is about making amends with Hyungwon. Pulling away now would just make him more upset.

Kihyun lets out a sigh and stuffs their hands in his own pocket to keep the other slightly warmer. His own jacket is similar to Minhyuk's that Hyungwon is wearing, but it's more of an overcoat and made of thick cloth. Hyungwon steps closer to accommodate the fact that his arm his being pulled.

"Better?" Kihyun asks gently.

Hyungwon nods and happily stops whining, giving Kihyun some time to get his head straight. He isn't sure what he was thinking when earlier this morning he asked Hyungwon if he wanted to go somewhere today. He is less certain of how he ended up holding Hyungwon's hand, yet all of his concerns disappear when he sees how happy Hyungwon looks.

_In another world, I'd never hurt you._

He watches how Hyungwon's eyes light up when they enter the movie theatre. He pretends not to notice Hyungwon and goes to pay for two tickets to some stupid drama movie Hyungwon screamed about a few months ago when he heard it was being made. When he returns with tickets, popcorn, and two drinks, Hyungwon hangs off his arm and looks so happy Kihyun could cry.

"You're really taking me to a movie?"

"Yes, Hyungwon. Let's go before we get bad seats."

They sit towards the back because Kihyun isn't sure if Hyungwon is going to freakout or throw a fit. He doesn't even get to hold the popcorn because by the time the movie actually starts, Hyungwon is whining and tapping Kihyun's thigh.

"What?" Kihyun whispers.

He just taps Kihyun's leg again, and suddenly it clicks in Kihyun's head. He glances around to see everyone staring at the screen. Kihyun nods slowly, and Hyungwon immeditely climbs in his lap, sitting facing the screen. Kihyun can still see it, but he doesn't have much of an interest. His heart is going into overdrive because he is terrified of someone seeing them.

He reminds himself this isn't a date and Hyungwon is just a friend. The younger pulls Kihyun's arms around him so he can mindlessly play with his hands.

_Hyungwon, you are going to kill me.._

The younger stays pretty calm throughout the movie, to Kihyun's surprise. He doesn't complain a bit, and when it's time to go, he hops off Kihyun without putting up a fight. When Kihyun stands up, Hyungwon stops him from leaving the theatre.

"This wasn't a date, was it? Because I want to kiss you, but I can't because you like girls and this isn't a date."

Kihyun has an internal struggle. In front of him is Hyungwon bluntly asking if they just went on a date, yet he doesn't even know the answer himself. Theoretically speaking, it was a date. He just isn't sure if he is willing to accept the fact that he just took another male on a date.

When he takes too long to respond, Hyungwon pushes past him. He has the same hurt look like when Kihyun pushed him off so many months back. Kihyun grabs his wrist before Hyungwon can drown in the crowd.

"It was. It was a date," he says breathlessly. He feels like he has been running a marathon.

He doesn't miss a beat. He pulls Hyungwon in and crashes his lips against the others'. He's so warm, like stepping out into the sun after months of being indoors. Kihyun feels like he has been trapped for so long, and suddenly he is finally escaping. He wraps his arms around Hyungwon's waist and tugs him closer. A hand slips into his grey hair, another around his neck. Hyungwon is pressed so close to him, and Kihyun doesn't ever want to come up for air. If this is what drowning feels like, he'll gladly drown.

Hyungwon pulls away to breathe, and Kihyun only gives him a second before dragging him back. If Hyungwon was actually suffocating, he could pull away, but instead he pushes Kihyun back into the threatre's seat so he can climb on top of him with his knees on either side of him. Kihyun really feels like he can't breathe, but he doesn't want Hyungwon to get away. Clearly, Hyungwon has no intentions of leaving as he pushes Kihyun further back in the seat and slides his tongue deep into the elder's mouth. It hurts a bit, having his head tilted up to accommodate for Hyungwon's height.

Kihyun slips a hand into Hyungwon's hair to pull him back off of his mouth. Hyungwon whines softly.

"We are in public, remember?" Kihyun gently reminds him.

As revenge, Hyungwon rolls his hips against Kihyun, making his groan lowly. The younger giggles.

"Hyungwon, get off of me so we can head home."

_Before I drag you to the bathroom and make you drop to your knees._

The younger hops off with a pout, and Kihyun tries to ignore that they are both half-hard. Hyungwon is such a brat it's annoying.

_In another world, Kihyun would remind himself that he loves him._

-

"I'm cold," Hyungwon mumbles, sleepily rubbing his eyes as he shuffles from foot to foot in front of the couch.

"It's about time for you to wake up from sleeping all night anyways," Kihyun reminds him.

Kihyun really hasn't slept. In fact, he stayed up the entire night to finish a report.

Hyungwon looks at Kihyun's lap, staring at the laptop. He is adorable; he has on Hoseok's black shirt and no pants. His hair is an absoulute mess. Kihyun wants to kiss him.

"Wanna sit," he whines.

Kihyun pats the spot beside him. "Then come sit. No one is stopping you."

Hyungwon moves to stand in front of Kihyun with his hand on Kihyun's laptop.  "Here."

"What do you want?"

Hesitantly, the male pushes Kihyun's laptop away, only to sit on him, legs on either side of him and his face pressed against the crook of Kihyun's neck. Hyungwon sighs contently and his hand grips Kihyun's shirt. It's a sight to see.

Realistically, he can probably feel how fast Kihyun's heart is beating. Maybe it wouldn't be so fast if there wasn't 132 pounds of Chae Hyungwon on him.

_Is it really okay to like a guy so much?_

Small hands find their way onto Hyungwon's hips. He wishes Hyungwon was a girl; his parents would disown him if they knew how in love he is.

His eyes fall closed, and he wraps his arms around Hyungwon's small frame. The male makes a noise of contentment. Kihyun can hear Hoseok and Minhyuk studying in his shared room with Minhyuk. He listens to the rain hit the windows, and he lets his body relax.

He only falls asleep for a few minutes before he hears Minhyuk and Hoseok.

"Hyungwon, you have a class in an hour," Minhyuk says.

Kihyun's eyes just won't open, but Minhyuk is next to him on the couch trying to coax Hyungwon awake.

"So sleepy," Kihyun mumbles, pulling Hyungwon forward.

Minhyuk hums. "I know you both are, but Hyungwonnie has class. He can't miss it."

Kihyun isn't awake enough for this, so he attempts to hide his face in Hyungwon's hair. "Don't wanna."

"Come on, Kihyun," Minhyuk uses his softest voice and combs his fingers through Kihyun's hair. "Let's get you to bed, hm?"

Kihyun finally releases Hyungwon.

He can deal with emotions later. Right now, he needs to sleep.

-

"What are we?" Hyungwon asks quietly, lifting his head from Kihyun's chest.

Kihyun isn't sure how to answer it.

Hyungwon is here lying against Kihyun with a leg thrown over Kihyun's and his head rested on his chest. They could be anywhere but instead they are outside in the cold, lying down and staring up at the stars.

"I don't know," he answers honestly.

Hyungwon accepts his answer.

They have plenty of time to figure that out.

He rests his head back down on Kihyun's chest, and Kihyun holds him tighter.

_In another world, I'd tell you that I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> Idk i might make a part 2.  
> Follow me on Twitter @ kihyunnieyo


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